Category Archives: Uncategorized

What Now? What’s happening. What’s next. Breathe.

Dear Beautiful World,

It is OFFICIAL. I posted it on my Facebook, instagram and twitter, so it must be, LOL. The world now knows.

photo (65)

10.28.2014 Dear World, Dreams Fulfilled. It is OFFICIAL. I have been holding back to share this for the past 2 months and now I am going to share with the world. I will be in AOTEAROA/NEW ZEALAND (Auckland Dec. 2nd – 16th, 2014) and AUSTRALIA (Sydney and Melbourne Dec. 16th – 23rd, 2014) in DECEMBER 2014! I will be painting murals, performing, doing workshops, interviewing and filming peeps for our Moana Documentary, interviewing and filming LGBTQI South Pacific Islanders, building community partners for Oceania Community Center of the Arts NYC…y mas. I am so freakin’ excited! ‘Oku Ou Fu’u Fiefia!!! Not only will this be a sojourn of learning, gaining new knowledge, being connected to my roots, my peeps, our community—I will be visiting family and friends I have not seen in yeaaarrrrs. I will be kissing the land my parents went to school (Auckland) and where my Papa grew up (Melbourne). I will be swimming in the South Pacific Ocean, a place I definitely call home. Oceania, I am coming home. #OceaniaNYC #MoanaOurName #MoanaOurStory #MoanaLove #Aotearoa #NewZealand #Australia #Auckland #Sydney #Melbourne #Artista #Artist #LGBTQ #Queer #PacificIslanders #SouthPacificIslanders #Community #Home #Api #TonganaAmericana

Ok, that’s the future I am stepping into. WOW. It’s happening.

What NOW? Well, I gotta go be in action about all of this future stuff….I got work to do.

Tawk to ya laters.

‘Ofa lahi atu always,

mo diesel, mo money, mo difference.

peace.

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Year 2012 Completion

Created a special year end 2012 altar: filled with stones from the Irish Sea, and from the Pacific Ocean from Tonga and Fiji.

Sun 12.30.2012 I created a special year end 2012 altar: filled with stones from the Irish Sea, and from the Pacific Ocean from Tonga and Fiji.

YEAR 2012 Completion: My review of my year, my adventures, my prayers, my lessons and acknowledgements. Thank you to YOU ALL for making this year so freakin’ AMAAAZING! You truly give me my life. punto. I know this. I am here because of you. I would not have had this amazing year without you!

Dear Beautiful Peeeeeeppps, I LOVE Completion. Like for real. I LOVE 100 percent completion (That is one of the lessons I got this year, you can read more in MY LESSONS) because it feels soooo good. Lord knows, there are still so many things on my INCOMPLETION list to complete (Dang, can’t wait to complete them but for now, I can say that I am complete with them being incomplete) However, I can directly say out loud, “This is officially complete.” Like, declaring, this year is 2012 100 PERCENT COMPLETE! Here we go!
***2012 was the the year I pushed myself past my fears, past my comfort zone, past my physical limits, waaaaaaaay past where I would usually say, “I can’t do anymore”—ANNNND I did more. (i.e. when I worked on the murals in LA, I got up at 5 am and worked until 10 pm for 3 weeks. My physical body was waay past tired and my mind was in high gear everyday. During the fundraising for the Souljourney Truth Tour 2012- 2013, the schedule was similar. I have not worked so hard in my life than this year AND I LOVED IT!) Not only did I do more, but I gave more heart & soul. I shared like waaaaaay past how I thought I could ever fully express myself. I stepped into the unknown, dark, ugly and uncomfortable places of myself. I did not step over anything–I did not NOT say anything, or hide anything. I put everything in the LIGHT to truly get FREE.  2012 was a year where I met and made new BEST FRIENDS & Familia: Lah Tere (Teresita Ayala), Binni (Robin Fifita) and Carol (Carolina Bonilla). These amazing sisters who have come in my life, like they were always there. I absolutely love these sisters and I thank them for all they have given me and taught me. 2012 was also the year to truly let go of people in my life that did not serve me. I let go of 3 people in my life that I considered “family.” Because I was not stepping over anything in my life and not “tolerating” the smallness in my life, I had to let these people go. 2 of these people were friends that I have known for more than 12 years and this year, 2012, was the year for me to say, “No, this is not what I want. This is not making me grow. Why am I settling in these friendships?” I didn’t just walk away from these relationships but I completed them powerfully. I had closing conversations with them and told them why I am ending this. I gave them a chance to share what was there for them. I listened. No drama. No yelling or fights. Just completion conversations. 2012 is the year where I truly owned my voice. I shared my feelings. I confronted confrontations. I asked non-stop for what I wanted. I did not stop at a NO–not even when I when I was the one who was saying NO. I took myself ON like nothing else before. I went deep into my fears and I am so happy I did 🙂 Now I can fully own all those dark places of my self cuz I really get that I can only be a light worker–and my light can only be seen–in the dark. 2012 where I experienced myself as the artist that I say I am: a poet, a painter and an actor. 2012 is the year my favorite uncle died, Saia and when my father started chemo. My birthday this year was so amazing because I got to go to sleep and wake up to my dad and mum’s voices 🙂

MY ADVENTURES: 1-(Jan – May 2012) I was a part of the most amazing team I have ever worked with in my life, like no kidding, this team was freakin’ incredible! I was hired by CUNY’s (City University of New York) ASAP Program Headquarters to be a part of a team of 17. It was truly fulfilling and one of the most amazing teaching experiences I have had in my life. The ASAP Program is only offered in any of the 2 year colleges in CUNY (Hostos, Brooklyn College, Laguardia, I’m missing 2 others). It’s an incredible program which offers ANYONE (you can be 17 or 77 years old) free tuition, a free metro card all year long, a career specialist and a counselor to make sure you graduate and received your associates degree. More than 80 percent of the students from the ASAP program move on to get their Bachelors degree. Out of the 17 of us, 4 were Leaders, including myself, who partnered with 1-2 Student Leaders (Alumni of ASAP) per workshop. We traveled all over NYC. I went to high schools all over NYC I never knew existed. I saw for myself, the education system in NYC. I went to places in the Bronx I have never been to, I absolutely LOVE the Bronx. I was the leader who focused on leading in the Bronx and Harlem (Uptown, baby, we gets down, baby) but I also did workshops in Queens and Brooklyn too. My Student Leader Team was the best! Their stories, which were shared everyday at the workshops, were not only an inspiration to all the students but to me. Ohhh, I can share on and on about them. The high school students we met thought they never were gonna go to College, or ever leave there hood. By the time, our workshops were done, they were like, I’m going to College, where do I sign up?! They got to see that nothing could stop them–if they were undocumented, if they were failing classes, if a parent was incarcerated, if they were currently homeless, nothing was going to stop them, absolutely nothing. With my Student Leader team, we led workshops to 1,200 students and altogether as a team of 17, we led workshops to over 5,000 students in NYC!!! At our closing event, our team was recognized to accomplish the most in a short amount of time, in the history of CUNY in general. We not only met our goals but we surpassed them. We got national attention in The New York Times and Harvard University gave us shout out’s for bringing EDUCATION to ALLLLLLLL. I give major props to Melissa Fernandez and Patricia Hicks who were the head honchos in leading our team of 17. If it was not for your leadership, we would not have accomplished so much–and have the most Fun and Best time while doing it!
2-My paintings were in 7 exhibits this year in NYC, San Francisco and Florida. (Broadway Housing Gallery in Harlem, State Capital Building in Harlem, The Central Park gallery and the Steve Kirsh Gallery). I got to exhibit with amazing artists like Leon Golub and Kiki Smith. I got to talk to Felipe Luciano about my paintings on the radio. I sold a painting for $3,000.00!!! ( At the beginning of 2012, I said, I’m going to sell my paintings for $3,000.00 or more. Even more importantly, I know how I did it, so I can do it again and again in 2013! I started owning the value of my artwork and myself.)
3-2012 was the birth of my first international art project “WORLD LEADERSHIP: Women, Presence & Power.” I absolutely love this project–it’s so amazing. 2013, is the year when she starts to walk. 2-I did 6 solo performances of my poetry & monologues: in NYC (Mama Tingo Closing event), Chicago (National Writers Conference), Washington DC (Busboys and Poets), Arlington, Virginia (twice! for SULU DC and SULU DC’s collaborative event with the National Asian Conferrence) and Dublin, Ireland (For the Adult writers group, Write On).
4-I was in the VAGINA MONOLOGUES!!! This for me, was really a dream come true. I absolutely love Eve Ensler and her work. I was in 2 performances in the Vagina Monologues in Harlem (That monologue I performed, I really got to have a blast with it and share my acting skills.) Also, this year, Eve Ensler publicly became one of our Supporters of Mahina Movement’s Souljourney Truth Tour.
5-I went to LA twice to be with my family and to create the “Raices Murales.” I worked with over 160 students and adults in Bell, California. It was my very 1st mural project.
6-I lived in Manassas, Virginia from July 2012 to today and I’m moving back to NYC in 2013. (THIS is alllll For LOVE, FOR LOVE). I have traveled from VA to NYC more than 20 times this year (by bus, by car). I HAVE MY OWN CAR and you can witness me zooooommming! (Yup, he gave it to me for my Birthday!) I got to do a road trip with my BFF, Gabby to New Paltz from New York and then drive back to Virginia. I have been and seen places in Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Washington DC and Virginia for the 1st time. I have never witnessed the U.S.ofA like this before.
7-Mahina Movement did 27 performances and led 7 workshops in 2012. We performed with Angela Davis for the 3rd time and we also had the amazing honor to perform with Alice Walker, Russell Simmons, and Tibetan monks. I got to meet Cynthia McKinney and Majora Carter! 8-The Soul Journey Truth Tour jumped off and we performed in our 1st International Country! We raised $15,000!!! $822.00 went to Hurricane Sandy relief communities! We had 5 people travel to Ireland to perform and do workshops in Dublin, Bray and Arklow, Ireland. We created over 190 LOVE FLAGS representing NYC, Ireland and Indigenous people of North America.
9-I had my 1st photo shoot for re:spect! I actually had 2 photo shoots for re:spect! Thank you to the most amazing photographer, William Orellana and all my models who made these events so great.
10-I led 3 Silk Screen workshops including 1 at the United Nations and 2 at The Brecht Forum. I also got to lead a workshop with Ping Chong and Jesca about the Undesirable Element curriculum that I have been a part of for 13 years.
11-LEADERSHIP in the house!!!! Self Expression Leadership Program in the hizhows! I coached (I had 5 participants that completed their program successfully! from Jan – March) and am now head coaching the Self Expression Leadership Progam at Landmark Education (I have 4 coaches and 13 participants). Our SELP ends on Feb. 28, 2013. I absolutely LOVE the SELP. I can’t wait to lead the SELP in 2013!

MY (s0-called) FAILURES:
1-I was a finalist for this mural in Harlem. I didn’t get that mural but I know why. The waitress I spoke to on the phone. Now I am the lead artist for this mural in South Bronx about Mothers and their children from West Africa. Meet the Artist and workshops start in March 2013! 2-I applied to 5 fellowships/projects and I did not get any of them. But I still went 100 percent out for them!!!! And that gave me one of the best experiences/lessons of my life: I can give 100 percent of my best self to something or someone and if I don’t “win” it doesn’t matter because I am not stopped. This is what it means to be truly unstoppable. 3-SULU DC’s Artist of the year. I did not get it but I was so happy to be recognized by the community! 4-I set out to go to other countries in Europe for our Souljourney Truth Tour: Italy, Spain, England and Portugal and to do a mural in Ireland. None of this happened and I’m okay with it. It didn’t happen but now I can see clearly what I have to do to make it happen! 5-Pay back all my DEBT–no I still have mad debt like alllll my Student Loans for Columbia University and New York University. Instead of avoiding and hiding in my student loan debt (I got no credit card debt, that’s right) I am OPEN and OUT about it. I’m truly FREEEEEEEEEEE! And I am handling my business!

MY LESSONS:
1-Be what you want. Like for real real. You want Love then you got to be love. You want Inspiration, then you gotta be Inspiring. The same goes for this: You are bored, that means you are boring. You are not having fun because you are not fun. BE IT and then GET IT.
2-There is no where to go. Yup, there is absolutely no where to go. You think that one day, it’s going to be Ding, Ding, Ding, I got it! Um, No. Not True at all. The time is now. There is no prize to get. Every day, breath is it. There is no where to go.
3-This is it. That’s right, this your ONE life. We got what we got and we don’t got what we got. What you gonna do?
4-Wine is good (And this is coming from a Mormon raised gurl). Yo, wine is really good. Meaning that Fun times must happen. I learned to really relax and have fun with my friends and celebrate. I’m such a workaholic, that many times, I would not want any time for leisure. I would just burn out and sleep for days. Instead of burning out, I really got to play and have fun this year! Like go to Sephora and get make-up done, eat lots of ice cream, pie and pastries, watch lots of good movies, and take long drives while following the moonlight. 5-Request galore. Ask away. Why wait? I ask for what I want. You should too.
6-100 percent completion. I love being 100 percent complete. Also, I know that I can be complete with being incomplete. And when I am incomplete, I’m getting complete, when? NOW. 7-People Matter. Friends Matter. Everything  do and am, I get because I have really good friends and people around me. I can show up because they listen to me as my TRUE ME. 8-Your Mind is not a terrible thing to waste. Your mind is terrible. period. I 9-Cheer Leading Squad in Full Effect. I have a whole cheer leading squad around me because I cheer and support people in their dreams and make sure they accomplish them. This entourage is the new black. You should get one too. 10-I have the SOUL of the Artist. I truly 100 percent know that my soul is that of an ARTIST. There is no turning back now. Only forward. 11-Being Unstoppable! Nothing and no one can stop me. Not even my own dang self.MY PRAYERS for 2013!
FREEDOM FOR ALL! Freedom for Palestine, Freedom for the DRC! Everyone eats gooood, healthy food! All the abundance in the world to you and your family! Blessings to everyone to really getting we are already enough. Sending you the most delicious juicy love and brilliant light!!! ‘Ofa lahi atuuuu!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Shout outs to all ye amazing, beautiful peeps in mi vida! I’m so THANKFUL for you! MALO ‘AUPITO! Mi hermanas: Lah Tere, Robin “Binni” Fifita, Carolina Bonilla, AJ, Melissa, Trish, Charles Browning, Marie Varghese, Iman Khan, Re Perez, Bethany, Karen, Donte, Summer Sheridan, Tiffany Kapri Johnson, Melissa Corbett, Kambale, Omar and Janvieve, Regie Cabico, Kazembe and The Brecht Forum, Jamie Campbell and David, William Orellana and his family, Maria Marisigan, Aurora, all 300 people that funded our Souljourney Truth Tour, alllll the amazing youth and families that I met this year from LA to NYC to Ireland!!!!!!! ahhhhh yeahhhh! Mi brothers: Frank Lopez and Luke from The Peace Poets,  JL Umipig, My IRELAND gente: Niamh, Frannie, Mermaid Theater, Axis and Ballymun, Jamie for being “Amazeballs,” My SELP Crew: Ernest Biscardi who is simply the best leader, Nikki Brown, Olga, Vonda Roney, Ahimsa, My BFF, familia: Gabby “Gab*Star” My Mum and Dad, and to MSQP, te amo baby. ‘Ofa lahi atuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
okay, I gotta do now, MSQP is calling me, we got a Polynesian celebration to go to in Maryland and we got some vision boards to make tonight. 2012 you are officially complete. 2013, here we are!!! Let’s goooooo! Let’s get it! HAPPPPPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!
LOVE YOU!
‘ofa lahi atu,
MoLuv

Gotta write mas. Gotta write now.

Dear World, Dear Community:
How y’all doing? For the whole month of July I have been on vacation in Virginia and it feels great!!!! I absolutely love vacation, yo. Like true, vacation. Yes, I have been doing things here and there, a little bit of this but not at all doing LOTS which I am use to doing: doing and thing about 20 things at a time.

I’m ready to WRITE!
Anaheim, Aurora, Chick-Fil-A, Coco Cola out of Bolivia, the Olympics…ahhh so much to write about…I’m going to make the time this week to at least put my thoughts together.

Starting today, August 1, 2012, I am challenging myself to post on my blog for 30 consecutive days.

I want to leave you with the super inspiring great life of Gore Vidal. R.i.p.eace, power, y perfection.
He thinks essays were the best kind of writing! And I have been thinking of publishing a book of essays for the longest time. I think I agree with him about essays. I absolutely love essays!

http://www.aljazeera.com/news/americas/2012/08/201281449999259.html

Self Love all day, everyday!

dear world, mi gente, my beautiful peeps! HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 2012, here it is! 1st day, 1st post of the year and I’m amped, Let’s get it!

To ground my self in the most infinite LOVE and GREATNESS of the spirit and the universe in taking on my business, I have chosen to take on the Self Love 30 day challenge! Will you please join me? You can be anyone from anywhere in anyplace in the world: transgender, women, men, young, old, live in on the beach or in the projects–all what you need is a commitment to LOVING YOURSELF in a whole new positive way! Taking yourself on like you have never taken on yourself before. I was on the first conference call tonight and it was incredible. The challenge officially starts tomorrow. The deadline to register ends on Wednesday 11:59 pm. Here is how to join:
Follow on Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/SelfLuvMovement
Follow this link to Register https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?hl=en_US&formkey=dFlUUTkyNDRLT0RoTWY4eFhIc1Q0dnc6MA#gid=0

When you register, you will see this message:

Reloaded: 30 Day Self-Love Challenge (January 2012) In-Take Form
Thank you for expressing an interest in the Self-Love Challenge! Your information has been recorded. You will be contacted when information about the next challenge is finalized. In the mean time, I challenge YOU to embark on 1 of our tasks: Create an “I AM Love” Jar. It can be a glass jar, or anything you choose. Get construction paper or your paper of choice and cut them into slips. On 20 of these slips, write 20 things you love about yourself (or that you are becoming), and place them inside the jar (e.g. “I love my warm spirit” “I love how I light up a room” “I am bold”, etc). Everyday, pick something out of the jar and “be” this person for the day. Keep adding to the jar everytime something comes to you about how fabulous you are. Your love for yourself will grow during this process because the stuff in the jar is growing! LOVE YOU Powerfully and boldly today! 🙂 Akua Soadwa …a conversation and an action away from having everything you want…

This is just one of the rituals you will be asked to do during the 30 day Self Love challenge.
I have not started on this yet. I actually got confronted. Yesterday, I got a Self hate attack. I got to be present to how much self hate I have. It made me scared, sad, and also, like, yahhh, that’s right, no wonder, I sabotage my self in relationships, opportunities, etc. I was putting myself down again and again yesterday and then I was like, come on Moana, you are Moana Love, this aint feeling so gooood. A poem is coming soon about my self hate and therefore, leaving that behind in the past where it belongs. Yup, I’m facing my fears. No more hiding. No more running away. No more excuses. No more self hate. SELF LOVE ALL DAY, EVERYDAY punto.

Happy New Year my world, my peoples, mi gente, mi ‘ohana, my loved ones.
This is it. Let’s live the BEST life we can. We got ONE. Let’s make it WORTH everything we got.

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2012: Let’s get it! goals,intentions,declarations, uh hemmm….LIFE

2012! Here I come!

dear world,
4 more days until 2012 and of course, I have already been contemplating next year, planning new goals, declaring big dreams, following through on new outcomes–more than i ever dreamed of!
i want to fully first, do a 2011 year in review of myself, my goals, my results and my outcomes and complete an amazing year of what else can i say, AMAZINGNESS!

for real, real...yes, yes, axe, axe...i am exactly where i am.

i have learned so many new things this year, experienced so many new things, lived a whole new life–just from shifting perspectives.
when i started this blog the day before thanksgiving, i set out to post everyday and to write everyday. now in going through this experience blogging almost everyday, i can say, that i like doing it! i will officially call myself a blogista (i don’t like the word, blogger, it’s too close to booger) and i like that title. yeah, yeah.
i have been looking at, researching, experiencing, and feeling the “power” of blogs and other social media.
i just read that there are conferences you can attend to meet other blogistas/blogistos/bloggers and shares info. on how you can make a living off blogging! i did not know that at all, wow! <the things i learn everyday of my life, love it.>

which makes me think…

yesterday, i was thinking about what my intentions are for this blog, what my goals are.
first and foremost, i know and understand that it has to come out of my purpose in life which is:
connecting people to each other and their own humanity and making LOVE present (everywhere, anywhere, everyday)–I bring the LOVE.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

remember.

okay, is all what i have to say for now.
gotta mail out some orders.
gotta create my new goals for the new year.
gotta make lunch.
gotta give thanks.
..y mas…

thank you.

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here we come! 2012!

thank you, thank you, thank you!
as the nueva year comes, all i can think of right now is how much gratitude i have for all my family and friends!
how blessed i am to be with you, near you, talking with you, listening to you and loving you!
thank you for everything!!! i shall share my list of 211 things (i won’t be able to 200,110 things!) that were so great and special to me this year! coming soon…
FREESTYLE THIS:
pumpkin pie hugs.
vaniila sweet chocolate covered almonds kisses.
i love you.
‘ofa atu!

the universe speaks

good morning,
I finally signed up for “the notes” from the universe. you should too. check it. look at website on the bottom of oath below. have a fantastic day!
‘ofa atu!

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magical

ohhhhhhh, it just turned after midnight…i missed posting for dec. 19, 2011. what a magical day!

just finished having a spectacular dinner/sharing/convos/connection with my 2 amazing gurlfriends C and M. thank you hermanas! gonna FREESTYLE this.

laughter
eating
letting go of pain through pain-ting joy
no more drama, no more pain
we all on a new rocket ship
yogurt covered pretzels
butterscotch couch of comfort, safety and home
receiving blessings
in abundance.
you got me.
i got you.
i got you universe, i know you got me.

heart (candle) flames

conjuring the ocean, feeling the cowry, cowries got my back

we still growing

‘ofa atu.
i’m gonna stay up all night working on my moana love boedega–getting orders out before christmas, thank you, thank you, thank you for all your support and love and magic.

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It’s a New Day

dearest mi beautiful gente,
exactly one week from today (last sunday) my Pastor sent me an email requesting for me to write a poem for today’s Sunday service. Below is the poem I wrote (today!) and I read it today at today’s service. It was really thrilling for me to share a freshly pressed poem, a “new poem for a new day” as I said to our community, our congregation today. It felt so good to go past my “I’m not good enuf/this poem aint good enuf/not good enuf” automatic convos. and just dive into the spirit of this poem which is: we are infinite possibilities everyday.
this is dedicated for all of us. enjoy.
‘ofa atu!
———————————
“It’s a new day”
by vaimoana litia makakaufaki niumeitolu
inwood, nyc. 12.18.2011

para all of us

we magic in flesh and bone
real, alive and direct
aqui with you
we wisdom
when we think we are dumb
we butter light
sunshine forces
ready for flight
we are told we are
too young
we are told we are
too old
we are told we are
too much
too less
not possible
not worthy
nobody
Everybody
(we don’t believe)
We
give birth to
infinite possibilities
We give birth
to the
new

We think we aint worth
a million
(that’s true)
cuz we worth infinity, can’t count that
you can count: dollar bills, the top ten hits, degrees
which is not always counted
you can’t count stars, sand, joy or memory
which always counts
remembering who we are
our worth
our possibility
our headbeats to our headphones, attuned to our
heartbeats to our heartphones
calling our corazón
Let’s answer: mi amor, mi vida, mi corazón
we bring our (he)Art alive
communicating
new life

(don’t they know,
don’t you know,
don’t we know!)
we are the ones
who give birth
to our universe
from each breath
from each lung
we are the ones
who give birth to the sun
we never question, asking
“Will it rise again?”

We are the ones to
give birth to a
New day
Life has just begun

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men. love. creation.

(gemini lunar eclipse. let’s get it!)

men.
Last night, I got to hang out with an amazing friend of mine. We went to a gay bar (he’s gay) so that he could meet a “blind date” potential person. (it was great for me to go this bar with my friend. Its this fancy bar and he asks me, “Have you been here before?” You tawkin’ to me? Yo, I don’t go to bars. I don’t even drink. I told you I grew up Mormon right? No, I have not been to this bar–ever. I think I have only been to 3 bars in NYC for “fun.” Did I drink? Um, maybe?
Even though I left the Mormon Church when I was 16 years old, I still feel very Mormon. My bestfriend, Gab*Star, teases me that I am really a Mormon conservative republican. No, I’m not! But now that I am digging deeper in my views about sex, sexuality, bars, alcohol, drugs…dang, (Yes, I do not want to curse or swear! Dang is so Utah Mormon and yes, I do use “gosh” and “heck” too.) Okay MuthaFuckers, like Lauryn Hill, yes, I just put a “fuck” in there to show you how “hard” I am. Cuz I am. Okay, I need to actually move on to what I wanted to write for today–I’m going off on a tangent. Let me focus…sigh.
The dude my friend was supposed be matched up with, actually left early and we got to hang out with this dude’s friends. It was so much fun! I love gay men! like for real, I do. Because I feel so safe with them.

realization & insight #1 (and if I don’t put this realization and insight into some sort of meaningful action, it won’t mean anything. hold me accountable–if i don’t, it will just be another realization & insight, who cares, next. But if I actually do something with this realization and insight, it will mean something and it will matter…) In catching up with my friend, we got to share what we were up to currently and check in with each other. In checking in with him, it’s not just a surface check in, it’s like real and vulnerable and nothing hidden. I like that. It’s not just chit chat. It’s like for real, what is happening in your life? what are you committed to in this planet? who are you? you have a say in that and are 100 percent responsible for your life and so, what are you doing about it? i have to share with you that my friend is not just any friend–he was my coach for this amazing leadership program (the program is one of the amazing programs I have done at Landmark Education check it: http://www.landmarkeducation.com I will share with you more about Landmark Education later) I participated in for 6 months. That is how I met him. As a coach, he stood for my life: my goals, my commitments as a world leader, my integrity, my art, my family, my friends, my community–everything that is important to me. I got trained by him and many other coaches, my colleagues, the program leaders, and my classmates in being the “best ME.” Freaking amazing program and people. So that said, of course, when talking to my friend, everything has to be in an authentic real place. Sometimes intimidating when I want to act small and be small in the world. Most of the time, this is how I want to live my life and be with all my relationships in my life. That said, now I’m actually getting to my topic of “men.” My friend was telling me that growing up he decided that “Men in the world is not Safe.” Word? He was sharing with me that at 14 years old, his parents got a divorce and then they re-married when he was 19 years old. At 14, 15, 16 years old until his 30s, he saw (out of participating in his Landmark Forum) that he decided that  “Men in this world is not Safe” because his Dad and Mom would fight daily. He was so close to his Mom and to this day his Mom is one of his best friends. He thought his Dad was always rude, mean and bringing so much hurt to his Mom’s life–and hence, their life as kids. I say “Word?” as a first response because I was fascinated to hear this from another Man. It gave validation to my own voice of how many times I feel unsafe with “straight men.” And then I said to myself, “But your a man, your unsafe with yourself?” It made me think about other men making that same decision in their lives. It made me ask myself, do straight men have this experience too? I’m sure they do! Right?!! (Action#1: Ask as many straight men as I know, if they made that same decision in their lives. Did they know they made that decision? Are they even aware of that decision or the type of decisions they made themselves?) This conversation needs to be continued.

realization & insight #2 For real though, everyone should be able to have a choice to participate in the Landmark forum and then all the other programs at Landmark Education. If you don’t know anything about the Landmark Forum or Landmark Education, you can email and ask me any questions. There are locations all over the world, so check out the website: http://www.landmarkeducation.com The Landmark Forum is not a one time, one all, here is a pill, and now your life works. No not at all. It is just the beginning and the end and the middle and everything—its  a journey and a continuation of a journey. Why I say that everyone really should be able to have a choice to do the Landmark forum, and if they actually do it, for real, peace for all my peeps, peace for all our word, peace for all our families. No matter who you are: student, millionaire, homeless, Israeli y Palestinian, Tongan or Samoan, Transgender, Woman or Man, a-n-y-o-n-e and everyone is there. What do you want for yourself and your life?

love.
that said, I love my life. like, did I tell you, that I loooovvvveeeeee my life. This is it. We got one life. Do you love yours? If not, what are you going to do about it?
realization and insight #1: I get more than ever, peace work, activist work and community building work is relationship, self love work. When I am working on the relationship with myself and the relationship with my friends and family and others. When I am and they are fulfilled in our amazing, open communication, juicy, respectful, loving  relationship then I am bringing peace on this planet. I am an “activist” and I am building “community.” I get this more than ever because yes, if you/I ain’t occupying wall street, you best be occupying your/mu heart and the hearts of our loved ones.

creation.
which brings me to creation. We all, yes, WE ALLLL, can create anything for ourselves and our lives at anytime. that’s the power all of us have. Not just a few, alllll of us have that. What are you creating?
For me it’s all about the LOVE. (see above)
If it aint got the LOVE then it aint got me.
Malo e lelei, my name is vaimoana litia makakaufaki niumeitolu but you can call me moana. Or moana love. why? cuz i love you.

te amo
te amoana
‘ofa atu.