Category Archives: Personal

Casualities Poem 2/30

Caualities
written by vaimoana litia makakaufaki niumeitolu
Para MSQP
Harlem, NYC Baby
April 2014

1
when i had weapons of war
you had your arms
wrapped around my belly
of bombs & nightmares
you brought
embraces and home
no violence
no battles
i brought
broken plates and kitchen
warm rice
cold lemonade
confrontation
history and science
books that can not be read
only learned over time

2
Esposa
i never wanted to be handcuffed
you never thought you were good enough
to have me
tied up and bound
freedom
that is what we were both fighting for

3
you requested love
my inside voice
cariños
carressing my high cheek bones
cantar
gliding my inner thighs

4
i requested love
speaking out loud
poesia
amazing grace translations that are
not lost but found
reading
fresh water
and
peace

5
you crave peace
of
mind
heart
soul
rhythm
100 pieces of mi corazon y mi amor
exist in our Pacific Ocean
on your coastline and mine

6
this marriage is war to me
you said you don’t want it to end
i wanted the war to end
come home
you said
again
and
again
come home

 

 

 

 

 

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Dealing with Death, Dealing with Life

A Parting Word

You are lights.
Wherever you are is lighted.
You are never in darkness.
You are only approaching darkness.
You are never in death.
You are only approaching death
for when death is entered
it is life.
For you are alive.

Therefore, once you have found yourself
you are infinitely safe
for you are always who you are:
Ultimately, when you return Home
to be received by God,
you will welcome yourself
with love and understanding.
from “Enmanuel’s Book” A manual for living comfortably in the cosmos. Introduction by Ram Dass. Compiled by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton

I thought I would never be able to handle, much less deal with my Father’s death. 1 year, heck, even 2, 3 years before my Father passed away, I was always anxious and fearful that my Father would die. I constantly bit my bottom lip and would cry ferociously. I cried on the subway. I cried walking to work. I cried walking from a party. I cried walking to the Bodega. I cried in the middle of a conversation. I cried always, always at witnessing love between family members, couples, puppies, even cartoons. I bit my bottom lip every night while I was sleeping, that to this day, I have 2 black bite marks on my bottom lip that I try to hide. People ask me, “Why do you have that on your lips?” I tell them that I bite my lip uncontrollably but I don’t tell them why. In the Fall of 2010, my Father told us he was diagnosed with cancer. What? Leukemia. What? My heart–What?–dropped. Then it started pounding a thousand beats at once. What? Why? Why? No. No. Why? Not him. What? Why him? Ok. No. Never will I accept this. Ok, I need to accept this. What? No. Repeat. For 3 years.

6 months ago, on June 1, 2013, my Father passed away. I was there with him when he passed on to his next journey. I was so happy, honored, and very blessed to be there with him. I was holding his hand. Wait, he was holding my hand, and I remember when he tightened my hand into his. I knew this gesture meant he was ready to go. I was the only person with him. My mother left the room an hour before to take a nap. She was so tired and so relieved I was there to be with him. For she was in the ICU all 9 days, he was there, day and night, with them. She needed to rest. My brother, David left a few hours before. He never accepted that our Dad was sick and was going to die. Just like me, David was always questioning, Why and being in denial, No, this is not happening. I didn’t accept it all, until 1 month prior to my Father’s death. One day over the phone, my BFF, Gabby, gently said, “Do you know death is a part of life. Your Father is going to die, Moana. All of us are one day.” I sobbed with acceptance. I sobbed for departure. I sobbed again because it felt good to let all the tears and sorrow out. I knew I was ready for anything. I just wanted to be with him. Be there for him. Be there with him before he took his last breath. And I was.

My father passed away in the late afternoon on a beautiful, sunny Saturday on the 1st of June 2013. He passed away at home, my parents home in Sandy, Utah. I flew in from New York City that day, only a few hours before he passed away. He got to see my smile and laugh. I got to see him smile and laugh in his eyes. (I’m taking a little moment to just cry while I write this because I remember that moment so well.) The chemo and cancer impacted his physical body so much, that his face was so sunken in and his mouth could no longer be controlled by his muscles. It just hung open like the rest of his body. Everything, his ears, his arms, just hung, flapped out, swollen and sore, laid out to rest like soggy laundry craving the sun for warmth and to dry. My Father was in the ICU for 9 days before he passed away; of course, he was spent. He finally came home, where he wanted to be. With his family. With me. I have it, that my Father was waiting for me to come back to say Goodbye. (I have to take another moment, to cry and blow my nose). 9 days earlier, I told him, “Papa, I will be back. I’m going to NYC now. I will be back, ok, ok, Papa, listen to me, I will be back, I’m going to NYC and will be back here, with you. With you Papa. ‘Ofa lahi atu.” He gave me this look of, You better, I will miss you. I love you. Come back soon. I did come back to see him go. I saw his soul leave his body. He was in Peace. Even though his physical body was so weak, his spirit was so STRONG. SO much LIGHT in that man, so BRIGHT, so much LOVE. His soul left in peace and in great slow flight. I was overwhelmed with so much profound love and peace. My Father passed away in great peace, freedom and light.

I want you to know my Father was unstoppable love, light, freedom, immense joy and happiness. He was the most generous and strongest man on the planet. He was very brilliant and very humble. Super funny and super smart. Everyone enjoyed his presence, even strangers. He created the world to be fun and enjoyable. He created this world to be sooo kind. My Father was a very, very kind man. When you met him, you got you were loved and accepted. Everyone knew him by his heart and his class. Yes, he was very classy. My Daddy had swagga before swagga was born. He taught what I value: love, passion, art, poetry, generosity, family. Yes, Family. My Father was family. He stood for family, our family, through it all: challenges, pain, struggles, sorrow, forgiveness. Forgiveness. My Father taught me how to forgive. Yes, to truly forgive. ‘Ofa lahi atu Papa. I love my life because of who you are and what you brought to me and this planet. Thank you for my life. Thank you for your life. Thank you. Thank you.

Mi Mama and Mi Papa and I. I love this picture of Us.  Provo, Utah. Sept 2009.

Mi Mama and Mi Papa and I. I love this picture of Us.
Provo, Utah. Sept 2009.

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September 11, 2013

Today he is not afraid to say this is what happened. Today he wants to know more.
He asked me yesterday, “Why does the U.S. want to bomb Syria?”
He listens to Tongan music and the Tongan Radio show in Utah every week. He says he wishes he spoke Tongan. He asks me how my Mum is.
Today he wants answers. Today he wants to know more.
Mo Maui 1
Mo Maui 2
Maui 1
Maui2
September 11, 1973 Santiago, Chile: He was not born yet. But this is his birthplace. He will be born on Sept. 12th. One day after, 5 years later.Year 1982 Provo, Utah: I am 4 years old. My family move from La’ie, Hawai’i and arrive in Utah. Provo, Utah to be exact. We are here to begin a new life.Year 2000 Provo, Utah: He is 21 years old and leaves Santiago, Chile for the United States of America. Provo, Utah to be exact. He has grown up with Pinochet, Universidad de Chile, and Don Francisco. He arrives here with his sister, Daniela to learn English. They are here to begin a new life.
September 11, 2001 New York City: I was supposed to meet Joy downtown. I do not. I call her a few minutes before the 1st plane hits. Let’s meet another date and time. The clear blue sky is filled with black clouds for days. Thank goodness I am with Gabby. We pray and cry together.
Summer 2009 Provo & Moab, Utah: He meets a Tongan girl, me. He calls me his Tongana, mi amor, mi vida, mi cielo. I call him Maui, Baby, corazon. He teaches me Te amo. I teach him ‘Ofa atu.
September 27, 2009 Provo, Utah: We are married. We love each other. Our union creates Tonga Chile.
Winter 2009 Sandy, Utah: He is 32 years old when he will hear the words–Allende, Coup, CIA, Murder– for the first time, in our bed. We discuss war after we make love. We exchange history as well as kisses. He can not believe the black and white footage we watch together. He envies my brown eyes. He thinks his blue eyes can only see lies. He calls his father, Omar, former General in Pinochet’s army. Papa, is it true? His father tells him, “Pinochet is the best thing that happened to Chile.” I do not sleep that night. He holds me even tighter.
Summer 2010 NYC, NY: We move to NYC together. He wants to go to Ground Zero. We drive around NYC in his truck blasting Victor Jara. He is proud to be American–South American.Fall & Winter 2010: He moves to Manassas, Virginia. I file for a divorce. We do not see each other for 3 months. 3 months of breaking & crying a part. Separation becomes unbearable. We still love each other. I ride the Chinatown bus from NYC to Washington DC and back for 2 years every week. He drives around Washington DC & Virginia listening to Tiro de Gracia. He sees the Capitol Building, White house, and Washington Memorial for the first time.June 2011: I move to Manassas, Virginia so we can be together. I never thought I would leave my NYC. For him, I will. Let’s work things out. Let’s stay together. A South Pacific Islander and a South American in the South of the United States of America.Jan. 2013: We are separated again. I move back to NYC. For myself, I will. He moves back to Utah. I want the divorce finalized. He wants whatever I want. I don’t want him to want what I want. I want him to want what he wants. Loca y Loco. We both want visibility. We both want to be seen. We love each other but we are not together.June 1, 2013 Sandy, Utah: My father passes away. I live in Utah for 3 months to be with my family. I begin a new life. I still love him. I love myself.
Today September 11, 2013 Sandy, Utah: We are both back in Utah. We are friends who love each other. What does it mean to be together? Tonight we start celebrating his birthday. He will be 36 years old tomorrow. He will call his Father, Omar and brother, Claudio in Chile while we, here in Utah, drink Chile from a bottle of wine. He has not been back to Chile for 13 years. We still exchange ‘Ofa atu at the end of every phone call. I go back to NYC next week.
Feliz Cumpleanoz MSQP. Te amo para siempre. ‘Ofa lahi atu.
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‘Ofa lahi atu Papa & it’s My Birthday!!!

Long Beach, California June 2013

Long Beach, California
June 2012

What can I say?  What shall I write?  I have not written a post at all this year. Well, here is the 1st one.
There is so much more to say. But when? If not now, then when? Right?
First of all, I am devastated. I am extremely sad and torn. My heart has broken up into tiny little pieces and I am trying to s-l-o-w-l-y without confidence but with great determination and sorrow to put them together in a creative, artistic and moana love kind of way. My Father is gone and I feel like I am gone too. When folks ask me if I am okay or how I am doing, I want to SCREAM. I am not okay. I am feeling beyond blue. I am very, very, very, very, very, very sad.
I need time to be like this. I need time to be in this. I can’t just quickly smile, “He’s in a better place. He’s no longer suffering. Alright, everything is so happy!” I am definitely not happy. Really, I want you to go away.

Today I remember my Father and I want to speak of him and about him and share all who he was to me.  I absolutely LOVE my Father and the love he had for me and the whole entire world was and is SO INFINITE and DIVINE.  I have never met anyone who has the LOVE like my father has. What a great example. Did I say yet, that I miss my father????
Today is my Birthday and I’m saying, Happy Birthday Papa! You gave me your life, so that I can have the life I have now. I am so thankful and grateful to you and your life and who you are to me! Your LOVE is truly AMAZING and GREAT and AWESOME and….You’re AMAZING and GREAT and AWESOME, Papa!
I miss you.
I really, really miss you. Yes, I know you are with me in spirit and I feel your great presence. But dayum, I miss you in the physical world. I really, really do.
I hold my heart as I write this.
You were such a Great man and Father. I can’t wait to share all that I have learned from you!!! and to tell your story in my Art!!!
‘Ofa lahi atu.

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Mi Mama

Litia.
Litia Makakaufaki.
Litia Makakaufaki Niumeitolu.

I carry your name. I carry your Mother’s Name.  I carry your Father’s name.
I carry all of your names.
You are truly the Greatest. Mama.
You gave me ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE:
from Tonga to TVA in Lai’e, Hawa’ii to the Trailer Park to the Suburbs in Utah to NYC to Italy to South Africa and beyond…
Anything I said I wanted to do, you were right there to say, Yes, it can be done.
You are my Infinite possibilities. You are my it shall me done.
You are my Millionaire Communities.
You are my Maka. You are my rock.

Because you are, I am.

I am your youngest daughter.
I am your biggest fan.
I am your artist.
I am your cake and pasta maker.
I am so grateful to you for giving me life.
I am so grateful to you for giving me a GREAT life.

Malo ‘aupito Mama.

Thank you Mama.
Thank you Mama.
Thank you Mama.

(we are all standing for you. *giving you a standing ovation.* insert applause now.)

‘Ofa lahi atu Mama.

Mi Familia: L to R: Mum, to back row: Loa, sister, Fui, sister and our first cousin, Sepi, Dad. front row: Me, ‘Amelia, sister and David, brother. Laie, Hawai’i. Standing in front of the Mormon (LDS) Temple in Hawa’ii.

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Waking up to Thunder: Living on Purpose

Literally, I woke up to major thunder and lightening. It was amaaaaazing!
And in the poetic realm, I woke up this morning to my own thunder: my passion, my hunger, my gifts and my full appreciation for my life and my full blown love for my family, my friends, my community, my world, my universe. Malo ‘aupito.

I just discovered Robin Sharma on twitter. He is one of the peeps I have been listening to and reading in the past few days. Check him out. Here are some great quotes by him:

“The secret to genius is not genetics but daily practice married with relentless perseverance.”

“Great to have what you want. Awesome to want what you have.”

In the last video I have on the bottom of this post he asks 3 questions. Here are my answers  to his 3 questions:

1) What I want my life to stand for:
Love, Dreams Fulfilled, Anything is Possible, Infinite Possibilities, Peace, Joy, Abundance, Everyone has healthy gooooooood food to eat, clean water and beautiful land and oceans for everyone!

2) My top 5 most cherished values I would take a bullet for/What values define me  and what values are most important to me:
1-Standing in my Truth & Integrity
2-Freedom
3-Family & Relationships
4-Full Self Expression
5-Safe Space for Everyone!

3) What are the 5 things that need to happen between now and the end of this year to make this year the single best year I have ever had in my life!!!! (I had to add 4 more, making it 9!)

1-Being a Business owner/CEO of my T-Shirt/fashion company, re:spect!!! And therefore, being the CEO of my life. (Looks like: launching re:spect out in the there world through my 1st photo shoot, fashion show and creating long lasting partnerships with designers, manufacturers and distributors)
2-Going on and completing our, Mahina Movement’s 1st tour ever successfully! We recently have been asked to go to Palestine for 2 weeks, so we have added Palestine to our tour. We have set out to go to Europe, 5 countries and 8 cities: Dublin, Ireland; London, England; Paris, France; Barcelona and Madrid, Spain; Lisbon, Portugal; Florence and Rome, Italy. (Looks like: making a difference every where we go, being fully funded, and leaving people inspired and empowered.)
3-Completing RAICES MURALES in LA, California successfully! (Looks like: Murals Complete, Community Gardens Complete, Documentary complete, the Bell community is truly satisfied and happy!) and I work on another mural in the Fall/Winter anywhere in the world and I have one set up to work on 2013!
4-Being whole and complete with every single person in my life. (Looks like: Nurturing the relationships I chose powerfully to be in that serve me. No longer being in relationships that don’t serve me and my life’s purpose and choosing powerfully to not interact with people, places and things that do not reflect my full vision of who I am.)
5-Being 100 percent DEBT FREE! Financial Free and Independent! (This is so possible for the end of this year. Looks like: paying off all my Student Loans at NYU and Columbia)
6-Apply to my Masters Program in the double major of Business and Law! To enter in Fall 2013.
7-Have my health and well being full center. (Looks like: Go back into my boxing training and go to my capoiera classes every week . Stick to it. Get all my check-ups, find my dentist, eat healthy and drink lots of water daily.)
8-Thrive in and nurture and grow in my spiritual community! I already found my spiritual community and I am so thankful for them. Be grounded in my spirit. Love and nurture my spirit. (Looks like: Going to church weekly. Praying and meditating daily. Read, Fast, Ponder, Pray, Learn. Ask and receive God’s blessings and design everyday. )
9-Owning my full expressed sexiness and full blown creativity! They both come from the same chakra, riiiight. (Looks like: Taking dance classes, expressing my physical body in how I walk, stand, sit and dance. Dance, dance, dance. Move. Move. Move. Wear clothing that fully expresses my vision of myself everyday, that empowers me, that empowers my heart, my body, my mind, my spirit….And other actions I will take that I choose not to share with you at this time. smilez.)

….And here is one of Robin’s lists that have changed my life already, please see below. Thank you Mr. Sharma! I’m grateful for you and who you are in the world.

I wanted to share 17 of the tactics I’ve learned that I know will help you lean into your productive best in this age of dramatic distraction:

17 Tips To Double Your Productivity In 14 Days

1. Turn off all technology for 60 minutes a day and focus on doing your most important work.

2. Work in 90 minute cycles (tons of science is now confirming that this is the optimal work to rest ratio).

3. Start your day with at least 30 minutes of exercise.

4. Don’t check your email first thing in the morning.

5. Turn all your electronic notifications off.

6. Take one day a week as a complete recovery day, to refuel and regenerate (that means no email, no phone calls and zero work). You need full recovery one day a week otherwise you’ll start depleting your capabilities.

7. The data says workers are interrupted every 11 minutes. Distractions destroy productivity. Learn to protect your time and say no to interruptions.

8. Schedule every day of your week every Sunday morning. A plan relieves you of the torment of choice (said novelist Saul Bellow). It restores focus and provides energy.

9. Work in blocks of time. Creative geniuses all had 2 things in common: when they worked they were fully engaged and when they worked, they worked with this deep concentration for long periods of time. Rare in this world of entrepreneurs who can’t sit still.

10. Drink a liter of water early every morning. We wake up dehydrated. The most precious asset of an entrepreneur isn’t time – it’s energy. Water restores it.

11. Don’t answer your phone every time it rings.

12. Invest in your professional development so you bring more value to the hours you work.

13. Avoid gossip and time vampires.

14. Touch paper just once.

15. Keep a “Stop Doing List”.

16. Get up at 5 am.

17. Have meetings standing up.

Stay Productive and Make Your Work Matter!

Kindest regards,
Robin Sharma

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para Papa

I can’t wait to see you in 2 weeks: you, Mama, ‘Amz y more!
I can’t wait to eat some Tongan food, yo, manioke with lupulu, coconut milk, yo!
Ahhhh, I can’t wait to see the Pasefika Ocean.
I can’t wait to see you, hug you, tell you how much I love you.
I get you. I got you. Thank you for choosing to be my father.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Thank you for giving your life, so that I can have the best life
I have now. Ahhhhh, Thank you.
‘Ofa atu Teti! Happy Birthday!
Life has just begun.

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Shhhhhhh, Quiet Por favor

In this city of non-stop noise, movement, push and shove, I gotta have my space, time and place to say, “Shhhhh, Quiet Please. I got to be with myself.” In this head of mine, of non-stop intellectual traffic, negative voices from all over from the past and present, I speak, “Shhhhhhh, Quiet Please. I’m gonna talk and listen to my heart right now. I’m gonna be with my gut. ” In this mind of non-stop, I gotta be better, be better, be better, convincing cultural and social norms of putting myself down as normal, addictions and addictive behavior, I declare, “Shhhhhh, Quiet Por favor, I’m listening to my TRUTH right now. Can you please pass the popcorn with the toffee? Thank you.”

My "I AM LOVE" Jar

My "I AM LOVE" Jar, Front

Dear World, Dear Mi Gente, Mi ‘Ohana:

This was the 1st week of the year 2012. This was the 1st week of my Self-Love Challenge. This was the 1st week of being and owning myself as a (art as my) business owner: I felt like I failed terribly. I got confronted again and again. I didn’t participate in my daily Self-Love rituals everyday. I always thought about making my “I am Love” jar but did not actually do it. I prayed. I mediated. I got scared. I still did not do my homework. I got confronted again. I didn’t even want to be present to the homework. much less read it. I distracted myself from what I knew I was supposed to do. I told myself  “I was busy.” (I dislike that phrase, “I’m busy.” I share about this more below) I put off my Self-Love Challenge until today. Today I completed my Self-Love Jar (Pictures above. In making this jar I saw that I really do have everything I need to get what I want. On Tuesday or Wednesday, I was walking home from the train and I see this flower on the sidewalk. I pick it up and bring it home. The jar came from some spaghetti sauce I just finished on Saturday. I rubbed the label off, washed, cleaned it and used it. Perfect. While doing all these actions, I kept on saying to myself, everything is provided for me, everything and anything I want.) I gave myself today and yesterday to really take the time to be with myself, to work on myself and love myself.  Looking back at this first week, I ask myself, “What did I learn? What are the lessons?” Moana Love Lessons of last week:
1) What keeps me Stuck, Negativo Belief #1: I want to be perfect, hence, I want to DO things perfectly. Hence, I won’t and don’t get things done if I can’t get them perfect.
Moana Love Lesson #1: Where ever I am is perfect, right here, right now.
Yes, yes, y’all. This empowers me like for real real. It gives me the space to be free, be safe, be myself. When I say to myself that I am perfect, right here and right now, I don’t feel anxious, frustrated or stressed, and therefore, I am in the space to be and do my best. ALSO, others around me do not feel anxious, frustrated or stressed either. I can give and provide for them a safe space to be themselves and be free for them to do and be their best. So, I say it loud and I say it proud, Where ever I am now is perfect. This is perfect. I am perfect here right now. My presence is enough. This is my journey and I am courageous outrageous in taking the steps! Purrrrrrrrrr-fect.

2) What keeps me Stuck, Negativo Belief #2: What do I have to show for myself and others now? I aint s&#@.
Moana Love Lesson #2: I am a woman work-in-progress. Life is a journey of learning. We are here to learn lessons. Everything is a lesson to be learned.
For the longest time in my life, I have put pressure on myself and others, that I must have “something to show.” I have taken this on in a negative context, that I must show and look for results of the physical and material. Of course, I do not believe this 100 percent, however, its still there 25 percent, and it comes up again and again in my life. It’s like a tiny needle stabbing  me in my little toe and it doesn’t work for me anymore. I am out to be 100 percent in a clear and clean space of Self Love–and my whole life.

3) What keeps me Stuck, Negativo Belief #3: I’m too busy. I can’t do anything more than what I am already doing.
“I’m too busy” are words that have not come out of my mouth in the past 8 months and nor will it ever come out of my life, ever. Today I learned that (ohhh, I love this, this is gold)  “Intention comes from soul. If an action does not come from intention it’s just another thing to do.”  I love this nugget of gold because I have been such a “doer” in my life. I love to do things because it keepa me “busy.” And “busy” meant to me, as something “good.” Doing for me means that I am actually “doing something” which means I am not lazy, I’m working hard, I’m doing something not just sitting there. I thought earlier in life that if I were to be “busy” and I am doing things, I was of some importance and hence, you would see this importance, and hence, I was worthy of love. Wow, I really get that Negativo Belief I have been carrying my whole life. <<insert buzzer sound, auuuuuhhhhhhhh. No more.>
That said, I do not and will not be “busy” or “too busy” to have the time to be with myself, know myself, check in with myself, give to myself and thus, love myself. Therefore, I will not be too busy for my familia and friends. I will be in action in making the time to be and connect with them. I do not want to be busy. I want to be up to something BIG, like my purpose. I do not want to be busy. I want to be in action and have every action have an intention. Yes, that sounds and feels completely different from “being busy.” When I am doing something, I will say I am in action on my intention. Can you say that with me too? Maybe when you see me in action and someone is asking for me, don’t say, “Oh, Moana is busy right now.” I prefer you tell ’em, “Moana is in action right now on her intention of love and inspiration, do you want me to give her a message for you?” Yesssss, that feels great already.

4) I will never forget what my acting teacher, Kristin Linklater, would tell us as young actors right in the midst of a breakdown/breakthrough in our acting (I still remember this to this day and today, it hit me like a bulldozer, a good bulldozer, it came to me like I really, really, got it!) which is Moana Love Lesson #4: “We do not have much time, We got to take this slow.” That’s the truth, Ruth. Being that I am a work-in-progress, that everything is a lesson and that I am taking every action on with intention, there is no need to take things fast. We can take it slow–I can take it slow. This gives me so much power to BE and DO my best. There is no where to go or get to. This is my journey and I am learning along the way.

Alright my peoples, I leave you with this video and 2 pix I took of the sky here in NYC (Sunnyside, Queens to be exact.) I am so happy and grateful in clicking my camera to capture the sky: sunsets, sunrises, clouds, cityscapes, fields, all of it. I see the sky as our huge canvas with a different painting everyday, any time of the day, constantly being painted again and again.  As for the video, I watched most of the classes which are so fulfilling and inspiring. This one in particular took me to the next level of who I am as a business owner and Artist. Watch it. Share with me what you got.
What are your negative beliefs that keep you stuck? What are the affirmations you are creating for yourself to make new, amazing and positive beliefs? I will share too on my next post!
te amo. ‘ofa atu. te amoana. i love you. i love myself.
PEACE. salaam.

sending you blue sky, painted clouds and brilliant orange light para siempre! Sunnyside, Queens, NYC; Sunday Jan. 8, 2012

To you from me with LOVE; Sunnyside, Queens, NYC; Sunday Jan. 8, 2012

click on this link: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/The-Oprahs-Lifeclass-Webcast-with-Cheryl-Richardson-Video

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Self Love all day, everyday!

dear world, mi gente, my beautiful peeps! HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 2012, here it is! 1st day, 1st post of the year and I’m amped, Let’s get it!

To ground my self in the most infinite LOVE and GREATNESS of the spirit and the universe in taking on my business, I have chosen to take on the Self Love 30 day challenge! Will you please join me? You can be anyone from anywhere in anyplace in the world: transgender, women, men, young, old, live in on the beach or in the projects–all what you need is a commitment to LOVING YOURSELF in a whole new positive way! Taking yourself on like you have never taken on yourself before. I was on the first conference call tonight and it was incredible. The challenge officially starts tomorrow. The deadline to register ends on Wednesday 11:59 pm. Here is how to join:
Follow on Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/SelfLuvMovement
Follow this link to Register https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?hl=en_US&formkey=dFlUUTkyNDRLT0RoTWY4eFhIc1Q0dnc6MA#gid=0

When you register, you will see this message:

Reloaded: 30 Day Self-Love Challenge (January 2012) In-Take Form
Thank you for expressing an interest in the Self-Love Challenge! Your information has been recorded. You will be contacted when information about the next challenge is finalized. In the mean time, I challenge YOU to embark on 1 of our tasks: Create an “I AM Love” Jar. It can be a glass jar, or anything you choose. Get construction paper or your paper of choice and cut them into slips. On 20 of these slips, write 20 things you love about yourself (or that you are becoming), and place them inside the jar (e.g. “I love my warm spirit” “I love how I light up a room” “I am bold”, etc). Everyday, pick something out of the jar and “be” this person for the day. Keep adding to the jar everytime something comes to you about how fabulous you are. Your love for yourself will grow during this process because the stuff in the jar is growing! LOVE YOU Powerfully and boldly today! 🙂 Akua Soadwa …a conversation and an action away from having everything you want…

This is just one of the rituals you will be asked to do during the 30 day Self Love challenge.
I have not started on this yet. I actually got confronted. Yesterday, I got a Self hate attack. I got to be present to how much self hate I have. It made me scared, sad, and also, like, yahhh, that’s right, no wonder, I sabotage my self in relationships, opportunities, etc. I was putting myself down again and again yesterday and then I was like, come on Moana, you are Moana Love, this aint feeling so gooood. A poem is coming soon about my self hate and therefore, leaving that behind in the past where it belongs. Yup, I’m facing my fears. No more hiding. No more running away. No more excuses. No more self hate. SELF LOVE ALL DAY, EVERYDAY punto.

Happy New Year my world, my peoples, mi gente, mi ‘ohana, my loved ones.
This is it. Let’s live the BEST life we can. We got ONE. Let’s make it WORTH everything we got.

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2012: Let’s get it! goals,intentions,declarations, uh hemmm….LIFE

2012! Here I come!

dear world,
4 more days until 2012 and of course, I have already been contemplating next year, planning new goals, declaring big dreams, following through on new outcomes–more than i ever dreamed of!
i want to fully first, do a 2011 year in review of myself, my goals, my results and my outcomes and complete an amazing year of what else can i say, AMAZINGNESS!

for real, real...yes, yes, axe, axe...i am exactly where i am.

i have learned so many new things this year, experienced so many new things, lived a whole new life–just from shifting perspectives.
when i started this blog the day before thanksgiving, i set out to post everyday and to write everyday. now in going through this experience blogging almost everyday, i can say, that i like doing it! i will officially call myself a blogista (i don’t like the word, blogger, it’s too close to booger) and i like that title. yeah, yeah.
i have been looking at, researching, experiencing, and feeling the “power” of blogs and other social media.
i just read that there are conferences you can attend to meet other blogistas/blogistos/bloggers and shares info. on how you can make a living off blogging! i did not know that at all, wow! <the things i learn everyday of my life, love it.>

which makes me think…

yesterday, i was thinking about what my intentions are for this blog, what my goals are.
first and foremost, i know and understand that it has to come out of my purpose in life which is:
connecting people to each other and their own humanity and making LOVE present (everywhere, anywhere, everyday)–I bring the LOVE.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

remember.

okay, is all what i have to say for now.
gotta mail out some orders.
gotta create my new goals for the new year.
gotta make lunch.
gotta give thanks.
..y mas…

thank you.

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